“Love is patient. Love is kind.” Those words kept ringing through my ears. I knew I recognized it. It took me a second… but it’s from the NIV version of the Bible: 1 Corinthians Chapter 13.
“Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.” <- That's how the chapter ends, and those words really stuck with me. Faith, Hope, Love. It’s a good focus – some light in an otherwise dark time.
Sometimes life sucks. Bad things happen. Grief hits you straight between the eyes out of nowhere. Or you just have a bad day. Whatever.
I didn’t feel like talking. Which means I didn’t feel like blogging – or sharing my food, or even logging my food. I just ate it, in quiet, alone. I wanted to sink inside myself, crawl in a hole and pull the hole in behind me. I needed a break to let it all sink in.
So that’s what I did. Life goes on. People find other blogs to read and other updates to comment on. Nobody really misses you if you go quiet for a minute. Even if it’s a long minute, that lasts a couple of weeks. 😛 But someone did. Several people did, actually. Thank you for that.
My relationship ended, my “happy engagement” is over.
I’m not going to say a harsh word about him. I have loved him far too long for that. My sadness ate my anger for lunch anyway. 🙁 It’s just over. He’s gone. If I thought eating ice cream would fix it all, I’d eat it. But it wouldn’t, and I won’t.
The details are mine to grieve, the tears are mine to cry. I just wanted it to go away silently and never mention it, which is why I was so quiet. I guess that wouldn’t really work, though. You’ve been here with me through it all – the happy photos of our “low carb road trips”, the trip to the beach, Niagara Falls, days on the lake, all of those big smiles. Including the low carb meals we shared, and those he cooked for me.
Wow. This is hard to talk about. Truly. I’ve had such a hard year, including the death of Molly in March. So much grief and loss and heartache in such a short time.
I am fabulous, dammit. (repeat, repeat, repeat)
I am not going to change who I am.
… except that I am.
It’s been a hard hit. A real shock, even. It’s time to pick myself up and move forward now though. If it’s true what they say: “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” I should be practically invincible by now. 😛
So now what?
Slowly (like a snail) I have been crawling out of that hole and putting myself back together. I’m still eating healthy of course, and now… I am exercising more than ever. Especially in the sunshine. Two things that are meant to make you feel better when you’re down – and they do work. I’m making Q4 plans for my business, making social plans for one, doing things with and for my children, planning trips with girlfriends.
I’m even cooking (or trying, lol – don’t laugh!). I have a casserole in the oven as we speak that didn’t turn out so great, but it does at least look edible. 🙂
I have to change all of my goals and plans.
So that’s what I’m doing.
Maybe I’ll just go back to the way my life was “before”. Except so many things have changed in the last few years. My youngest child left for college so I have an “empty nest” now, as just one example. Maybe I’ll take a totally new direction with my life. Maybe I’ll move to Colorado. Maybe I’ll sell my home and travel the world.
I’m still not quite sure…
I’m starting with small goals: eat super healthy and get in amazing shape.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
Thank you for understanding my quiet time.
Thank you for respecting that I don’t want to talk dirty details, out of respect for the great love I experienced. I’m so very grateful for that experience. I’m trying to focus on that. It was incredibly beautiful…
Faith, Hope, Love.
Faith that this too shall pass. Hope that there will be more beautiful experiences to enjoy in my life. Love, loving myself, nurturing myself back to a strong place.
And so we’ll continue on with our food & health discussions. I’ll share my weird casserole with you in my next update, along with what I ate yesterday (the same thing, over and over, lol). I’ll share my trips, my goals, and my life… as it unfolds.
Onward and upward. *cheers*
Best,
Lynn Terry,
aka @LowCarbTraveler
p.s. So many people in this world are struggling or suffering in one way or another. If you’re in a tough place right now (too), stay strong my friend. Hug yourself if no one else will. Take care of YOU. Hold on to Faith and Hope. *hugs*
-I may prune comments. I may not be able to read them. I don’t want anything negative here, or in my head. It’s hard enough to get up every day and push myself forward right now. I just need to focus on “it was wonderful” and “keep going”.
I love the big happy smiles in this video. 🙂
Think back to the happiest times, the happiest moments in your life – and smile. again. The only consistent thing in life is change. Ironic, but true. And when things change, fade, leave… you still have the memories, and the smiles. Relive them. often. Those are what life is made of. They are all life really is… with a lot of laundry, bills and dishes in between.
Think back today… and smile. *cheers*
Thank you for trusting yourself enough . . . and the supportive people here . . . to share your deeply personal and painful thoughts. There are no perfect words and advice to offer. Just take the necessary steps along your path and accept the stumbles that will surely happen while knowing that you touch many people in very profound and reflective ways.
((((( Lynn )))))
Well said!!
You are loved my friend… by many. <3
Beautifully said
I believe it is usually better to have experiences, even if they do not last, than to have never had them. Life would be incredibly dull without them. I know it hurts, and will for quite a while, but believe it or not, there is “light at the end of the tunnel”.
Well said!
Hi, Lynn Terry! You’re an incredibly strong woman look what you have done thus far! You have a whole community around you, you’re never alone. I too am in a similar place with the collapse of a long-term marriage when I least expected it! So I say we all form a “Life Reinvented” club and share where we relocate to so we have a “friend” nearby! I have been all over the map ( mentally), CO, CA and even NC (3 places I have children living). I just know I want out of here where “we” lived. I hope when I tell you that your blog and low carb teachings were the catalyst for my weight loss it helps you cause it certainly gave me back my confidence!
Thank you for sharing Lynn (()) hugs to you and keep going. Your doing great. Remember the good times. You are a insperation to many xxx
hugs
Knew something was wrong Lynn. You were to quiet. Just know we’re thinking about you and know you’ll be a stronger person because of these. We respect your feelings. Keep on keeping on!
You really have been missed, Lynn. All I can say is I’m so very very sorry for your incredible loss. Will say a prayer for you and sending you a ((hug)). Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Lynn, you are a strong woman! Probably much stronger than you realize! You will come out of this even stronger. I’m sad to see you so hurt, but be glad it is happening now and not after you married. There is someone that God has picked out just for you. Just have faith that God will bring him to you when the time is right. One day at a time…… So thankful you came into my life via your FB group. You have been such a blessing teaching me about getting healthly. Thinking of you daily! Big hugs.
Hugs, (((Lynn))) Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you so very much for this post! I am in a deep dark place at the moment…your words are consoling to me….prayers to you and me and everyone struggling….
I will be 59 tomorrow & the one fact no one can escape is : Nothing Stays The Same. Family, friends & life are constantly changing – the only thing we can do is to take care of ourselves & create a positive life. All the best to you as you charter your next great adventure!
I know about “lost love,” such as what you shared. Thanks for trusting us! I love how you started with I Cor. 13. It’s a model for life. I’ll be blessed to share your thoughts AND your recipes!
My heart breaks for you but hang in there – something wonderful will come out of this – I promise!
“One day at a time” life does get better
Bless you Terry,
Totally get your silence. With hubby stage 4 pancreas cancer I feel the same ways many days. Hope this is not too negative. I do not mean it to be. Speaking it makes it real. You have just taken your first HUGE step towards healing. I pray I am as strong as you. I did miss your posts but busy in my own life too. Take care. It is obvious there are a lot of people that love you here. I so enjoy how you can eat out and travel sticking Low carb. Loving this Low carb way of life at 50 pounds down now and still losing.
Be kind to yourself.
I am sending you tight, tight, tight hugs (( )). My wish for you is that tomorrow is a little better. You are amazing. We don’t let you forget it 😉
Your honesty is amazing, I know how bad you are feeling, trust me it will get better. You ARE amazing. It is not always our plan, it is Gods plan! He has big plans for you my love.
❤️
thanks for opening your heart and sharing with us…your online family. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way. When my husband died at young age I found a book that really helped me and still does. It is about finding yourself again and grief and life. I recommend it to you because you are grieving,even if he didnt die all your dreams of future with him did. Its about loving you and spending time alone. Its called This I know by Susanna Conway.
I know nothing I can say will take all your pain and hurt away so just know I’m sorry to hear what you’re going thru. (((Hugs)))
I have missed you Lynn! You’re in my prayers! Thanks for all you do for us on this site!
*I sent you a different, separate message in private.
I have known heartbreak. Many of us have. Someone I love dearly broke my heart. It was my first love who resurfaced and so this for me will always hurt. The end of a lot of hopes and dreams involving this person.
To make matters worse, my dad passed away at the end of April and I mistakenly reached out to this person (after a long silence) who only responded with cruelty.
So, this betrayal further added to my hurt. Will not be reflecting on the smiles now regarding him, but I do believe in the saying “Man’s Rejection= God’s Protection”. So, I’m probably being saved from worse trouble’s down the road.
I have health issues, pets to take care of, working on my websites and other things to focus on….that is all we can really do when people exit our lives for whatever reason, focus on moving forward doing our own thing.
My dad was one of the few people I talked to on a regular basis. Now he is gone. I can’t pick up the phone and call him anymore. Unfortunately, It is my new reality.
We can only live one day at a time. One way or another with God’s help, we push through the storms and move to the next (hopefully better) day.
Here is something silly that I hope will make you smile.
http://zinnart.com
As always, wishing you all the best,
K.
Lynn, I know how incredibly difficult it was to share what you have shared with us! I am soooo sorry! My heart breaks for you! Many of us have been right where you are or somewhere very similar. My husband died in Feb, and he was only 58. I am having to learn to live life all over again. For the life of me, I can ONLY make it ONE DAY AT A TIME, no matter how I try to plan. The ONLY WAY I have made it this far is that I have given everything totally to God and HE is carrying me through the parts that I cannot make it through alone. We just managed to get through our anniversary one week, then last week, his birthday! I have no idea about next week, but I do know that I can get through it all one day at a time. I’m sending lots of prayers and hugs, and I know you will be able to make it in little bunny hops like I’m doing! Again, I am so sorry!!
Just wanted to give you a big, long, tight hug.
Thanks for sharing your life. Sorry for the pain you are feeling but really proud to hear you are staying strong with your eating plan. You are so brave in sharing your life. I wish I could be as strong as you are. You truly are inspirational.
Thank you for sharing with us your most deepest feelings. I ache for you, I’ve been there, it hurts beyond belief. BUT I want you to know that every breakup I’ve had as heartbreaking and devasting as it was, lead me to where I am today, with the most incredible man that loves me as I’ve always wanted/needed to be loved. You are on a journey to find the one you are suppose to be with, know that in your heart and in the meantime, be the best you that you can be.
Love & hugs,
Roye
((hugs))
Lynn, you are an amazing person. You have shared with so many the ups and downs of life. You have helped so many people get on the road to eating healthy and losing weight. Thank you for all you do, you are loved and appreciated!
I am so sorry! Break-ups are like dying. The best thing I can do right now is to post a link to a song that I love now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UqfrH74wc0
Please listen to it because you are strong!
{{{hugs and prayers}}} Lynn. I never post but have enjoyed following your low carb journey. You have helped me so much on my journey. Stay strong.. you can do it. thanks for your genuineness and transparency.. you are appreciated!
You have loads of class Lynn. Big hugs to you.
thanks for sharing…sending positive energy your way…blessed be
Your post made me cry. Bless you. Thank you for sharing this with us. Let’s all hold each other in the light.
BIG HUGS!!!!!
So sorry about the loss of this relationship, Lynn! ((((HUGS))))
Thanks for hanging in there. Been a big help to all of us.
Dean
Lynn, I hurt for you. My heart cries for your loss. I also rejoice with you on your new journey. Thank you for sharing and your honesty. You have been a great source of encouragement to me. God is love. He loves you. He wants you to continue to love those in your circle of influence. I love you too. Be blessed!
1 Corinthians 13
Love
What if I could speak all languages of humans and of angels?
If I did not love others, I would be nothing more
than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
What if I could prophesy and understand all secrets and all knowledge?
And what if I had faith that moved mountains?
I would be nothing, unless I loved others.
What if I gave away all that I owned and let myself be burned alive?
I would gain nothing, unless I loved others.
Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do.
Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.
Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.
Love never fails!
Everyone who prophesies will stop,
and unknown languages will no longer be spoken.
All that we know will be forgotten.
We don’t know everything, and our prophecies are not complete.
But what is perfect will someday appear,
and what isn’t perfect will then disappear.
When we were children, we thought and reasoned as children do.
But when we grew up, we quit our childish ways.
Now all we can see of God is like a cloudy picture in a mirror.
Later we will see him face to face.
We don’t know everything, but then we will,
just as God completely understands us.
For now there are faith, hope, and love.
But of these three, the greatest is love.
I know it’s a cliche, but it’s a cliche for a reason … when one door closes, another one opens. Feel your pain, take all the time you need, and be gentle with yourself. You have a wonderful community here, and we all support you. I’m looking forward to reading about your new kitchen adventures! 😉
This poem really helped me after a breakup. I just kept repeating ‘With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child’ in my head, and I felt myself grow taller. Xx
“Comes The Dawn”
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn…
With every goodbye you learn.
Author: Unknown
Oh Lynn, I am so sorry. i was afraid that was why we hadn’t heard from you but I was hoping that wasn’t it. You are handling it with grace and strength and not bad carbs! Hang in there, my friend. You will find a new path, new challenges, new loves. We are all behind you supporting you and cheering you on. Sometimes life sucks. But if you can open your eyes to it, life is also achingly beautiful.
You’re an incredibly inspiring and brilliant woman Lynn and through your business and friendships you help so many people. I hope you continue to enjoy your God given gifts and future travel plans 🙂
One day at a time Lynne. We are thinking about you, (Hugs)
“This too shall pass”. Words that have helped me many times.
You are loved, always remember that.
Hugs
Lynn, thanks for sharing your story. I knew you had gone quiet and I checked the site several times but I just figured you were upset with all of us for not sharing and commenting more … Then I worried you were sick. Sorry about the breakup, but you are definitely on the right path and mindset to recover! I see nothing but greatness and good health in your future.
I just wanted to comment that you are truly blessed to be surrounded by a group of wonderful people that can truly be the wind beneath your wings… I am so happy they are there for you. I know you are aware that your private mastermind group loves the hell out of you and we aren’t going anywhere either! You are stuck with me until the end of time, or at least my lifetime! Love you! ~Marge
I’m so sorry, just read this in my email. Sending you big hugs.
Lynn,
You are an incredibly strong women. You are caring, giving, and loving. So many people are changed because of you. Me being one of them.
I don’t just consider you a great mentor, but a friend.
My heart hurts for you, but I know that you will get through this and be stronger for it. Please know that you have so many people here that love and care about you and that would miss you terribly if you stayed in that hole.
Thank you for being who you are, being real, and sharing that with us.
{{{ Hugs to you my friend }}}
Lynn, sweet girl…you are going to be ok, you are going to understand why you had to go through this someday and somehow you will be glad that you have had the experience, even if it was just for the scar to make you stronger…praying for you and want you to know that a lot of people love and appreciate you and that is pretty much all anyone really want out of life…..you are going to be better than ok, you are a special person and you have happy times ahead! 😉
D
Lynn
You are a very special person. You have helped so many people and have always been here for us. We are here for you also! There will be days when you fee like giving up but don’t. You must know, things will work out for the good, and there will be days that you look back and say I am glad I never gave up! Never change who you are! Thank you for all you do 🙂
Wow Lynn! You are amazing. You are such an inspiration to me…not because you’re perfect but because your human, just like me! You fall and you get up and you dust yourself off and you face life with your head high. Never change you because you are truly beautiful, inside and out! I can’t wait to see where we go from here, but I’m with ya girly!
So sorry to hear this Lynn. You made me want to cry reading what you are going through. I say this is a good time to try something new. Like take a cooking class. Maybe you will find a new excitement of being in the kitchen and it will re-spark your creative juices for Low Carb ideas & recipes. Take a trip! Go some where new & exciting with your girlfriends. Just remember, it will be his loss, because you are special and you mean a lot to a lot of people.
Thank you for trusting in us as we trust in you! May God guide you to greater things! (((((HUGS)))) He is the great healer!!