I feel very fortunate to have someone in my life that cares about me, and that will also put healthy meals in front of me – even when I don’t feel like bothering with food. Fortunate indeed. I have certainly been through such phases alone, or with people in my life that didn’t feel like bothering with ME.
Life can deal you some tough cards sometimes. If you’re an emotional eater (raising my hand) that can be a good excuse to just binge and throw all your hard work out the window, or make yourself sick, or both. I’ve done that before. I’m not perfect.
It does help (A LOT) though to have someone in your life that gives a damn. That’s been my save this week while my head spins, my heart aches, and my stomach seems to be processing all the tension and grief in one big twist. Ugh.
That, and I also learned the hard way that it’s just not worth it to backtrack and make yourself miserable, fat and unhealthy all over again. 😐
Been there. It sucks.
I’ll share a few pictures with you, then we’ll get on to the food…
See that pretty (mostly) white great dane puppy? Her name is Molly. These pictures were taken last summer – almost a year ago. She grew up to be a 130 pound puppy. She would stand up (close to 6′ tall) and wrap her big fat paws around my neck in a full-on hug, and chew on my pony tail. 😀
She died suddenly in her sleep a few weeks ago, at just under 14 months old.
It happened completely out of the blue. The best guess is brain aneurysm. I was sitting beside her when it happened, and held her so close as she exhaled her last breath and her heart stopped beating – right there in my arms. 🙁
I work from home, so I was with her pretty much around the clock for an entire year. She slept with me, slurped my morning coffee when I wasn’t looking, and could almost always be found right in my shadow or on my heels.
Both of the danes went almost everywhere with me. We did everything together. We hung out on the boat, went on ambitious hikes, I even took them on “danecation” to Marco Island where they chased lizards and ate coconuts for a whole week!
You may or may not be a “dog person”, so let me explain…
I will turn 42 this year, and my two children are almost 19 and 24 years old. When my son (the oldest) left home five years ago, I adopted Slim from the Dane Rescue. When my daughter left for college last year, I got Molly – at just 7 weeks old. They are perfect replacements: a boy and a girl, five years apart. They’re my “new kids”, while I adjust to having adult children with their own lives. They’re my family.
Losing her completely devastated me.
My sweet little Molly Girl was a real lover…
She adored Ricky. We’ve been together almost 2 years now, and while we’ve had our issues like most new relationships, this man has been really good to me. He is one of only 3 other people that even liked Molly. Most people acted annoyed with her, or pushed her away. It wasn’t her fault she went from an 18 pound puppy I could carry on my hip, to a 130+ pound puppy that still wanted to sit on laps and would goose you in the armpit for her own amusement. 🙂 haha… She was still just a baby.
I’m so grateful that Ricky was there with me when she died. I don’t know how I would have made it through that long hard night without him. He has become one of the truest friends I have ever known, and he has been there with me and for me through every step of my grief these last few weeks.
The hunger pains just kind of blurred in with the sharp heartache and twisted feeling in my stomach.
I made it a point to try to eat, chore as that was. It was definitely easiest when Ricky was around, bringing me healthy take-out or cooking (low carb) and putting a plate in front of me.
There’s something easier about eating when you’re just going through the motions, and that’s one of the motions someone puts into place around you and for you. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m hoping you understand what I mean, though.
I’m staying at his place this week. It’s just easier, mostly quieter, and I needed a place to get away from everything and just STOP for awhile. He’s at work during the day, so I can curl up with Slim or walk around in circles in my PJ’s all I please. 😛
At the moment I’m sort of halfheartedly eating some pre-made Rotisserie Chicken Salad with a few pieces of leftover bacon. Mostly to keep from getting lightheaded. You can see my meals from earlier this week here.
I’m having a hard time with my internet connection here for some reason, so I’ll embed the meal photos instead of uploading them. If you’re reading this in an email you may not be able to see them, so I’ll link to them too (or click here to view it online)…
Here are some of the low carb meals Ricky has made for me this week:
This was really easy. The brussel sprouts were frozen, and roasted in the pan with the chicken. See the cooking photo & discussion about it here.
A couple of times this week we had Bacon & Eggs (my request)…
Here’s the pre-made Rotisserie Chicken Salad I mentioned earlier (I had half for breakfast and the other half for lunch today):
And then, pardon the flannel pajama pants (lol) – and I caught a little flack for this – but I had a couple of Atkins bars this week:
I am not typically a big fan of Atkins products, or processed foods, and if I were going to eat a bar my preference is Quest Bars – both for taste, and better quality ingredients. That said, I’m not at home, didn’t have a few days to wait for a package in the mail, and just had to pick up something to get me by on the mornings I really didn’t feel like dealing with food (at all).
I’m really glad I ordered the low carb bagels last week. The idea of another egg, or anything greasy, kinda turns my stomach at the moment. Something a bit more plain and bland definitely appeals right now. Speaking of, they should have arrived at my house today – so I’ll have another review for you on those coming soon. 😉
That’s all for now really. Ricky has been great about keeping healthy balanced meals in front of me, and giving me a space to have some quiet time to get away for a few days. You gotta love a guy who will cook low carb for you!
I hope that gives you some meal ideas. I do like to keep it simple. And for the record, I’ve never been a fan of brussel sprouts – but they are GREAT when they’re roasted! The seared squash was REALLY good, too. This time of year I get it “flash frozen”, but it’s almost fresh vegetable season.
If you have any questions about how anything was prepared, the carb count or macros etc, just leave a comment – or you can post your question on any of the Facebook updates above too.
I’m doing okay. I’m just going through the typical stages of grief, and incredibly sad about losing my sweet Molly. Slim has been a big comfort to me these last few weeks, and he’s been eating healthy right alongside me.
That dane does love his veggies! 😉 lol…
There was a brief moment of total meltdown in the middle of Food Lion earlier this week (where I picked up the chicken salad) where I almost caved and grabbed three boxes of ___ (I won’t tempt you with the details, lol) to stuff back my hurt and emotional pain… with physical discomfort (overeating). That’s when I made a U-Turn with my cart and got those icky Atkins bars, by the way. 😛
But I did NOT cave. Like I said, I’ve already learned that lesson the hard way, and right now I know the most important thing I can do is take care of myself.
You can always justify any bad / unhealthy choice you WANT to make. But it won’t bring your sweet puppy back (or fix anything else in your life for that matter)… so why bother, right?
p.s. I need to update my MyFitnessPal carb tracker, and update this entry with my nutrition facts. I’ve been a little slack lately, but I’ll work on that. In the meantime, like I said – if you have any questions about how anything was prepared, the carb count or macros etc, just leave a comment below.
Send A Smile Up For Miss Molly…
(This photo was taken when she was a “little” girl at only 8 months old 🙂 )
I put together a little photo tour here, if you’d like to enjoy our one year together, including a few funny videos 😀 …