I shared this piece of my personal story on Facebook yesterday, and while Mother’s Day is now over… I wanted to share it with you too, anyway. 🌼
This photo was taken 5 years ago. I’m leaner, Slim is greyer, and Molly died 10 months later.
When my children grew up and left home, I replaced them with great danes. 😁 I adopted Slim from the rescue the year my son left home, and got Molly the year my daughter left.
My boys and girls are 5 years apart in age (children & danes alike), and ironically their replacements mimicked their characteristics. My son had seizures, Slim has head tremors. Both are introverts you don’t want to provoke. 😜 The girls, outgoing and dramatic. 😉
Being a mom is all I’ve ever known, my entire adult life. Having a boy and girl dane 5 years apart with similar personalities filled the void of empty nest syndrome – successfully. 🐾
Molly and I had one full year together before she died suddenly and unexpectedly… and far too young. We celebrated each of the four seasons together exactly once. She was SO full of life!! And then she wasn’t.
That’s when the empty nest syndrome really hit, and when I not only mourned her death – but the loss of my children, as “children.”
Slim stayed close by my side and got me through the hardest year, including the end of my happy engagement and long term relationship just 90’ish days later. So much lost in such a short time…
That’s when I finally overcame my binge eating disorder, my uncontrollable off-the-rails overeating.
The level of grief and void I experienced during that period could not be filled, not even with food.
I realized then that nothing I could possibly eat would bring Molly back to life – or fix anything else for that matter.
It’s when I adopted the practice that became a habit, a total mindset shift and healthier approach:
FEEL the void, don’t FILL the void.
I allowed myself to feel awful, to feel sad, to feel lonely, guilty, cheated, angry, empty, anxious, etc.
I needed an outlet for those overwhelming all-consuming feelings I was used to stuffing back with food, often eating myself into oblivion – what I jokingly called a “food coma” that literally rendered me useless.
I started walking: “pounding it out on the pavement.” I’d grab the leash and Slim and I would take off on an angry fast paced walk, or a slow mindless wandering, depending on the mood.
We started out with half mile walks, then a full mile, then two. When I was really angry, we could pull 4 miles in 42 minutes… pounding it out, sweating it out.
We did this for weeks and then months, until eventually our walks became ours, enjoyable walks we did because it felt good and because it was fun – just because.
New feelings replaced the old ones: appreciation for the cool breeze, excitement over a neat find, anticipation of something new to explore, a smile at the bright warm sunshine on my skin, a laugh at Slim romping through a creek.
I still miss Molly. I miss my children being at home. I miss having a close and happy relationship with my daughter. I still think about what might have been, what I could have done differently, where things went wrong, all those things…
But life is full of twists and turns, to make you grow, keep you on your toes, force you to appreciate, teach you to love harder and spend your time more wisely – and make you change, hopefully in positive ways.
Because all things do change, for better or worse. This too shall pass… is the rich man’s greatest fear, and the poor man’s greatest hope.
Today I’m reflecting more than celebrating. I’m a GREAT mom, and I take pride in that. To my children, to my danes, and to the rescue danes I’ve fostered over the last 9 years.
Being a great mom doesn’t mean everything always turns out great. But that’s okay. It was my mission in life. Mission accomplished. ✔
Happy Mother’s Day to you. 🌷 However you feel, whatever your story, happy or hard, I wish you at least one genuine smile today. Lots if you’re lucky. ❤
Just know that wherever you are, whatever is going on, this too will pass. Enjoy to the fullest love big and appreciative deeply, or breathe in relief – and hope … for what’s coming next.
xo
Best,
Lynn Terry,
aka @LowCarbTraveler
p.s. I’ve been working endlessly on the MCT Oil breakdown and the product value/quality comparisons for you. That post is coming out next, so stay tuned! In the meantime, here’s a sneak peek at my MCT Product Comparison Spreadsheet if you’re curious. 😉
Discount Code: LOWCARBTRAVELER
A much needed read for me. I share a lot of your emotions and heartache from the past. I hope to find my way soon, as you have. Life is lonely and I want to find other ways to fill the void, besides with food! Thank you for everything you do and Happy Motherβs Day to you!
Your words meant more to me than you will ever know. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey. Your post today came when I needed it most! Thank you too for all of your hard work in behalf of Keto community too!
Your post really spoke to me – thank you for being so transparent with Keto and a bit of your personal life! It helps to know weβre not alone!
HI! I looked at your spreadsheet and just wanted to know why you didn’t compare Pruvit’s 143 MCT oil in your comparisons? I’d love to know how it stacks up! Thanks!
Hi Linda π
I actually had to STOP and remove a few even from the list as they were all very diluted. Pruvit 143 MCT for example contains way more than just lauric acid, it has quite a few other LCT’s in it. LCT’s are long chain triglycerides (vs medium chain) which is a different kind of fat altogether – and has to be processed by the liver, slowing down the digestion and the results of the MCT’s and potentially being stored as body fat instead of being used as immediate energy like a clean or pure MCT that does not contain lauric acid or LCT’s.
Basically it has too many ingredients. π
Also, 15 one tbsp servings is $49. That’s off the charts ridiculous in comparison to brands of way higher quality!
I’m glad you asked though, because I’m sure there are others who are curious about that brand and ones like it as well. Pruvit didn’t come up when I crowd sourced brands/versions to research so thank you!
Hi Lynn, Thank you for the reply! I actually can’t use the Pruvit MCT oil, that’s why I wanted to know! I have tried it and have GERD and it gave me terrible heart burn/indigestion. My keto lifestyle had actually helped my GERD quite a bit, along with Pruvit drinks but I fell off the wagon a few months ago due to some major family issues and I am trying to get back on now. I enjoy your honesty and down to earth emails and posts, they are very helpful. Thank you!
The pruvit drinks are exogenous ketones, correct? Is there a reason you chose to drink those? I would be willing to bet the cost of those drinks you’d have just as much success (weight loss AND health benefits) just eating super low carb. π
As for the Pruvit 143, it has a lot of unnecessary ingredients, any one of which might be affecting your digestive system, including palm oil – or something from a palm kernel.
It’s one of the oddest, most diluted concoctions I’ve seen labeled “MCT Oil” yet!
The PHOSPHATIDYLCHOLINE in it is known to cause stomach upset as one of the potential side effects.
I actually started using a MCT C8/C10 oil while I was sick as you’ll read in my next post, including: indigestion, acid reflux & IBS. The oil had an INSTANT soothing effect, and stopped my reflux immediately – which is what intrigued me enough to go down this rabbit hole of research. π
Yes, they are exogenous ketones. Wow, I didn’t know all that about the 143. Thank you for the info. I started drinking Pruvit because of the 60 minute instant ketosis factor and honestly, it has helped me make better food choices plus it does give me great energy, better sleep and an overall sense of well being, which I needed. I started selling it for the extra money so as a promoter, I just pay shipping. I will probably stop selling it when I have to start paying. I haven’t had the time to work the business lately so that will probably be soon, LOL! I’m looking forward to your next post on the oil you use. Anything to help my acid reflux is worth trying! I do have a question for you. How is your cholesterol eating this keto/low carb WOE? My last check up it was high, I’m kind of worried about that. Any insight you have would be appreciated. Thank you!!
You’re welcome – anytime! π
My cholesterol levels are great actually, as are all of my panels including thyroid and Vitamin D (which my doc was happily surprised about considering I’m almost 46), but I eat “keto” consistently. If you go back and forth (off/on) that can definitely affect your numbers.
I’ve stayed away from Pruvit, and all exogenous ketones as you’ve probably noticed, for that reason: the claim that they put you in “instant ketosis.”
Exogenous ketones do not actually put you IN ketosis. They do put ketones in your body, but more than anything they just create expensive urine. π There’s no proof your body actually USES those ketones like it does when your body produces the ketones itself.
It’s also temporary, unlike nutritional ketosis – which is a metabolic state. When you drink or take ketones, you get a temporary “upper” not unlike using an energy drink. But then it’s gone out of your system, and YOU are not IN ketosis. Not from that alone at least – and you could easily get and stay in nutritional ketosis just eating very low carb.
MCT Oil is a much more pure/safe way to get all of the same benefits (and many more) – including an instant energy boost, improved gut health & digestion AND it actually forces your body to produce and USE it’s own ketones, which is a way better (more natural) process.
Given your health issues and labwork, I would recommend stopping pruvit sooner than later and going to super simple very low carb foods and healthy fats, and as much natural nutritional therapy as possible. π
Thatβs good to hear about your cholesterol levels! When I had mine taken I was on and off Keto plus it was an extremely stressful time for me. I hope I can get back into ketosis and stay there. Iβve been eating out of stress! I didnβt know the drink put you in temporary ketosis when I first bought it but I know now you have to follow the keto lifestyle for maximum benefits. Iβll look forward to your next post about the oil. And thanks again for taking the time to explain everything to me!
You’re most welcome – anytime! π
I would test again in 6 or 12 months. It’s amazing how fast you can improve your health.
If you follow a simple, easy keto lifestyle – you won’t need to ADD ketones to your system anyway. π
Those ketone supplements do have their purpose for cancer patients, trauma victims, epilepsy, dementia, etc – but not for weight loss or ketosis.
I hope to have that post finished up & out later today! *cheers*
Miss L, love this. Your doing a great job in lots of areas. Glad I found you on Twitter, feel like I know you . Keep up the good work and moving forward in life.
Sondra
That made me smile, Sondra – thank you! π
Thank you so much for sharing! You give me new insights into myself! I hadn’t thought about it – but I’m eating to fill the void. I was a single mom raising 2 boys… Time to get with it and and find other things to fill that space!
Such a good read. Thank you for sharing Lynn.