Yesterday in our FUN live Body Image class we were discussing common struggles in the weight loss journey, and ways to get OFF the dieting roller coaster and become a happy/healthy version of yourself you can LOVE. You’ll find the replay here.
In the most interesting timing, this photo from last Fall crossed my screen yesterday morning. I sat and looked at it for a very long moment…
I remember exactly how I FELT that day, why I was there, and what my mindset was before / during / after this crazy adventure:
Who Are You? WHY Are You? What Are You?
Those are some of the questions I really struggled with over the past year during this last leg of my weight loss journey. As I went through varying stages of self-sabotage, self-acceptance, and frustrating battles with deeply ingrained habits… I started really questioning and challenging myself, and my mindset.
It can be really hard to work out “the stuff in your head” – especially when you’re trying to do it in YOUR head, a tangled up mess of a place as it is. 😛 lol.
This is the reason I set out on my crazy, fun, fear-facing, physically challenging, push-yourself-to-the-max adventures. I needed a tangible outlet to face and tackle the intangible (mostly irrational) fears and issues and feelings in my head.
You’ve seen me literally “climb mountains” (hills & bluffs, lol), which were simply a physical representation of the things that felt impossible in my mind – a tangible, physical means of seeing if I could really do it…
Over the past year I have proven to myself that I CAN DO IT (anything).
I’ve proven that fears are illusions. I’ve faced my fear of heights, my fear of water, my claustrophobia, my fear of failure – and my fear of success.
I climbed the impossible. I fell a few times, of course. And do you know what I did? I dusted off my dirty skin and scraped hands and knees… and got right back up and FINISHED the challenge in front of me.
I refused to ALLOW myself to fail.
I could FALL, but I was not allowed to FAIL or QUIT.
I had something to prove.
To myself? To the world? To certain people in my life? I wasn’t really sure, I just knew that it was time to break out of everything I thought I was or was NOT, and get out there and find out what I could BE… or what I wanted to become.
I found myself at a turning point in my life, and in my weight loss journey, where I was becoming the person I always wanted to be.
It felt uncomfortable as hell. So it was either push forward, or fall back… and quite honestly, going back simply was NOT an option.
It WAS an option, just one I refused… this time.
One of my most enlightening adventures was my “Return To Self” hike at Burgess Falls, second only to this Before & After Climb that was a physical representation of my weight loss journey – start to finish, or what finishing would FEEL like:
As life goes, sh*t happened…
Fall turned to winter, certain friendships faded with the season, and decisions I made brought chaos into my life (obviously unintentionally!). Then I got sick, and stayed sick for three long months – which in hindsight was probably due to the sheer amount of stress I was under, that I didn’t even realize at the time. Until it was over.
I take full responsibility for the turn of events over the last 6+ months.
While I didn’t take that turn on purpose, every little thing was the direct result of a decision that I made, red flags and gut feelings and all.
And so I take responsibility, as any adult should. But I also have no regrets. I learned things I never would have known or realized had I not taken that detour. Much like some of my crazy off-trail detours on my hikes. 😉
I found myself asking that question recently as things calmed back down in my life, and as I started feeling my “true to self” motivation and determination returning. And my CALM and HAPPY along with it.
Maybe I should tell you some of the lessons I learned? I’m still sorting through them actually, still putting them into words even, but I’ll share what I feel so far…
* Everything that happens in my life is a direct result of a choice I make (or do NOT make).
* I will take personal responsibility for every good and bad thing that happens as a result of my choices – or lack of making a deliberate choice.
* I am not a victim to the winds of change, the choices other people make, or the whims of the universe. I am in control, even when I make bad choices or weird detours, I am in control.
* I can backtrack and get back on MY path anytime I choose!
* No one defines me, no one can MAKE me feel a certain way, no one can make my decisions for me. I can ALLOW someone to influence me, I can allow MYSELF to feel/respond a certain way, but ultimately everything I feel and do is MY CHOICE. (choose wisely, Lynn!)
* Screw regrets. They’re useless. Instead, learn a lesson from it and use that wisdom to make smarter decisions going forward. With no negative thoughts whatsoever, and a smile for the good moments or the great things that came out of even the worst choices.
* I am whole. I am complete just as I am. This journey that I’m on is simply called LIFE, and I intend to live it FULLY, with purpose and intent.
* I love myself. I love ME more than anyone else does, has or ever will. (This was a big one for me.) I do actually like the way I am. Now, I should say. And that is probably the BEST thing that has come out of this 6+ year journey – coming to a point of respecting, appreciating and even LIKING myself. 🙂
* Every single day is an opportunity to be a better person.
* If I’m not happy with my life, change it. Period. Even if it starts with small things, like rearranging the furniture or changing up my music or finding something new to do for fun. Life is meant to be ENJOYED. Even everyday life.
* Never stop challenging yourself. Complacency is EVIL.
* View life as a path or a hiking trail, and always move forward (one foot in front of the other some days!), choosing carefully between the splits and the enticing little side trails – keeping in mind that every decision, every move, even standing still and doing nothing… will impact my life.
* You are lovely. (really, you are!)
* You are CAPABLE. Take the things you envy most, and BECOME them. If you see someone else doing something, you can do it TOO. I don’t care what the situation or circumstances. Find someone in worse condition than yourself, that is living VICTORY instead of VICTIM – and get inspired to CHANGE.
Stay tuned as things change and my journey continues to unfold. 🙂
I’m getting back to my travels, which have been on hold for well over a year now – due to a mental setback that I allowed to affect my life, and how I felt about myself.
Another story for another day. Suffice it to say, I’m past it… and will be back to jet setting and road tripping! 🙂
I intend to continue my adventures too though, because I find them cathartic. I love the solace of nature, and what I learn about myself when I am alone with it.
What else? Who knows. 🙂 I’m excited to find out!!
If you missed our awesome discussion on Body Image and the things that hold us back on our weight loss & health journey, watch the replay. I know you’ll LOVE it.
You can also still access both of my Low Carb Workshops for some great (FUN!) training & inspiration: Read This Note
I really enjoy what we are accomplishing here together, and the amazing community that has come together from my mission here. We’re making ripples and changing lives!! I love and appreciate you all, and want to say THANK YOU for motivating and inspiring me to continue on… even when I don’t feel like it. 🙂
You keep me going! ♥
p.s. They’re shipping the next Keto Krate box on Tuesday, so you’ll want to sign up now if you haven’t already – because they always sell out FAST. The last box was AWESOME. I can’t wait to see what we get this time!;)
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