As you can well imagine, he is very much booked up; hard to get an appointment with him.
But, what the heck, who needs an appointment – his remedy is all in this blog post.
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascul ar exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…good!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!
Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”
AND…..
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies…
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
ROFL. Where did you get that evil/horrible picture, Lynn? π
My favorite is:
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! βRoundβ is shape!
Satu
That was one of my favorites too LOL. But I especially liked the very last line – the conclusion π haha
I got the image from istockphoto.com The original image in the email was a short fat chinese guy but for some reason it didn’t come through. Apparently it’s funnier with the original guy… lol.
I think he might just be my most favorite doctor ever!! LOL! π
Definitely better than the last doctor I saw! I went in for a new patient intake, just trying to find a new doctor, and he grabbed me by the waist and squeezed… and said “you need to lose about 50 pounds” and told me to sign up for his paid weight clinic. π grr
Even with the extra weight I was carrying, no way I wanted to lose FIFTY pounds. I’d look like I was on crack!! Did I mention this doctor was overweight?? hmph (I’ll give you two guesses as to whether I ever went back…)
Ah, can I get a referral to this doctor? Lol. You know there are numerous studies and reports that conclude that alcohol and wine are indeed good for you. Wine is good for heart health and alcohol, well that helps with tension and relaxation. Haha.
Great joke!
Cheers,
Missy
LOL Missy! π I agree, and I do enjoy a glass of wine now and then. My new favorite though is Rum & Diet Coke (or Rum & Coffee). Beware the “alcohol stall” though – it tends to postpone weight loss, particularly with a low carb diet. π