I don’t think so. But that’s the topic of our chat today because, well – for several reasons.
I feel shocked, raw, outraged, concerned, overwhelmed, hurt, afraid, alert, exhausted, fine, NOT okay. I feel like eating chocolate for breakfast, or not eating at all.
Mostly, at this point, I just feel completely SPENT.
What’s going on in the world right now is incredibly disturbing from so many angles it makes my head spin. I took a lot of time off work this week to listen, research, reach out, process, learn, think and process some more.
In times of crisis or conflict I tend to get very calm and very quiet, by all appearances at least. I recognize this as a learned behavior from fear/trauma in my childhood, but it has actually served me well as an adult: by turning it into an opportunity to observe and learn and process – vs responding emotionally or even irrationally.
My daughter lashed out at me in an emotional rage a few months ago over that very thing actually, because we don’t grieve the same way, express anger in the same manner, or respond to stress the same.
She was furious at my lack of rage, or her perception of my feelings on the matter at least – based on my calm reaction, which was not a true reflection of my feelings at all.
When it comes to my children, I have always stopped everything and dropped everything to give them my full attention in a moment of need – my feelings aside. That being on top of how I respond to or process crisis and conflict in general.
I explained that to her later and she understood and apologized of course, and actually appreciated that I did stay calm and help her through the situation.
Hindsight is always more objective than viewing life through a lens blurred with emotions though, right?
Back to what’s going on in the world right now, I have plenty of thoughts and feelings on it all, just like you do I imagine. I simply don’t feel the need to air it all publicly on the internet – which I’ve been called out and criticized for repeatedly this week.
That’s okay. I get that emotions are running high.
The current social climate is TENSE.
Like my daughter, many people assume silence or calm or anything other than pure outrage is a stance in itself. People assume not sharing your feelings publicly means you don’t have any, or that your feelings are wrong.
People assume not taking a public stance or making a public statement means someone or some business is not taking action – all of which are big assumptions.
It’s human nature to assume that everyone thinks or feels or acts like you do – or would/should respond the same way. But we’re all wired different. If I cry deeply but don’t publicly discuss that pain, it doesn’t make my tears any less salty. If I pray in private instead of public, it doesn’t make my prayer any less heard.
You may wonder what any of this has to do with peanut butter cookies…
Understandably! I’ll explain.
Would Peanut Butter Cookies Make Anything Better? 😌🥜🍪
1. My work is something I enjoy. It’s one place I know I can make a difference. It’s also where I turn to zone out and take my mind off things that are bothering me. After 23 years in business and a life of so many ups and downs, it’s my “constant” (a safe happy space) – or has been.
2. Life has been HIGH STRESS for the last three months, with things escalating rapidly over the last week, and so many people have reached out to me about their struggles with emotional binge eating, or going totally off the rails in a heightened state of anxiety over it all.
3. In the worst possible timing, Perfect Keto released their newest product on Monday of this week – and in my opinion, the best product they’ve cooked up to date: keto friendly peanut butter cookies.
Normally that would be something fun & exciting to discuss! They’re absolutely delicious, buttery soft and perfectly rich. They just dropped at a really bad time.
So here I sit, torn.
Do I tell you that Perfect Keto cookies were released this week, and what I LOVE about them? Is it in poor taste given the circumstances?
Do I have the energy to even sit down and write about cookies? Can I focus long enough to finish this before the sale ends tonight?
I’m pushing myself through that but (obviously) it turned into so much more. I apologize. My mind is full, my heart is heavy, and it’s hard to stay focused on any one point – to the point that I’ve all but given up on getting any real work done this week.
Something normal feels good.
Something normal feels wrong.
A lot of people crave something as NORMAL as sitting in a restaurant again after months of shutdowns. That’s sort of how I felt this morning after a good sleep (finally), following an emotionally exhausting week:
How good it would feel to sit down and blog “Friday’s Featured Product” before I get started on my consulting work for the day. You know, something normal.
Of course now it’s well past afternoon already, and I’ve mostly been staring at a blank screen, or backspacing what I *do* write. 🤦♀️ I’m torn between it being irrelevant in light of current events, or even feeling “wrong” (in poor taste)…
I’m torn between that, and wondering if maybe YOU need a slice of normalcy too (?) – to talk about something else, or read about something else, or even do something for yourself right now.
(I just cringed typing those ^ last few words. sadly. because self care IS important. YOU are important.)
Is it okay to need a mental break from it all?
(Yes, that’s okay)
Unfortunately I didn’t accomplish that with this note, given it’s all I really talked about. 🤦♀️🤦♀️ *sigh*
So let’s switch gears…
Emotional Eating, Binge Eating & Stress Eating
Speaking of craving something normal … for me lately, that’s been “pint night” – a pint of ice cream with a good movie and a spoon.🥄
That’s an OLD normal of course, from my former life, where I dealt with emotions and stress by eating (A LOT).
I finally realized that I could never FILL the void, and had to learn to FEEL the void – to find new ways to actually deal with my feelings, and work off my stress and anxiety.
I also realized that no food EVER made me feel BETTER. Wouldn’t that be such an easy fix if it did?! But it only ever made me feel worse, physically AND emotionally.
Still, there’s something comforting about that association for me, a rewind to a time in my life where things felt different. So after doing everything else to deal with the day (journaling, a brisk walk, a sunshine break, reaching out to check on a friend, etc)… I’m totally okay with enjoying ice cream and a movie. LOW CARB ice cream of course. Even if it’s just for self-care and personal enjoyment.
Nobody ever said you couldn’t or shouldn’t ENJOY certain foods, guilt free. You just have to get creative and find or create low carb alternatives, so they truly ARE guilt free.
Not just because you’re on a diet or want to lose weight, but because of how AWFUL it makes you FEEL to eat high carb or high sugar foods when you’ve discovered the BLISS of being in ketosis. And how GREAT it makes you feel to stay on track with your goals!
That’s what I’ve been doing lately: reviewing things like low carb pizza and low carb ice cream, allowing myself to enjoy things like these new keto friendly peanut butter cookies for breakfast instead of eggs – basically: extending myself a little food grace.
I also want to review and test these options or alternatives for other people too, that NEED a crutch sometimes. Because that’s totally okay.
While I generally eat super simple and “whole food clean” (like just eggs with butter & cheese, or just raw pecans, or just a ribeye, etc)… I’m not a total food snob.
Depending on where you are in your journey, and whether you ever had eating disorders or a bad relationship with food to overcome (or still to overcome), you may feel differently. That’s okay too.
I personally feel like you should do whatever it takes for YOU to FEEL YOUR BEST. period.
If that means using a crutch like low carb desserts or other “replacement foods” to get you through a craving or a tough spell, and that makes you feel BETTER than an all out binge or going totally off the rails, then by all means – do what it takes.
If you know that for YOU even a small indulgence that’s still low carb or keto friendly (like sugar free dark chocolate) is a “gateway food” that does NOT work for you, then do what keeps YOU feeling best.
I’m sort of somewhere in between myself…
Mostly food is fuel at this point, but I also love that there are plenty of options to enjoy now and then too.
It took me YEARS to get over using food as “reward” or “punishment” or for “comfort” or to realize that those things never truly worked for me, and to be able to enjoy low carb pizza simply because it was good – not because it “felt like a cheat.”
Ugh. I’m rambling I think. Apologies – again… *sigh*
I believe my original point was: Would (low carb) peanut butter cookies make anything better? The answer is NO, not in the grand scheme of things, not at all.
But if they make YOU feel better, then please: DO NOT feel GUILTY for indulging in something that keeps you from spiraling down with the chaos right now.
I’m struggling with that right now. 🙋♀️ I don’t mind to admit it.
Mostly I’m struggling with the self-talk, like “you should be eating clean” or “are you eating that to comfort feelings you can’t deal with anymore today?” etc.
This is NOT a place I want to return to in my health journey, but I’m dealing with it.
And like I said, extending myself a little “food grace” for now – while staying very low carb, which is a good balance while I get all this stress & anxiety worked out.
I do not even pretend to understand everything that is going on in the world right now, or even inside myself.
I’m sitting with my feelings, continuing to take things in from as many viewpoints and angles as I can, and watching things unfold to gain a bigger picture and better understanding of it all. There’s a lot of chaos and emotion to sift through, a lot to consider, a lot to research and learn.
There’s also a lot of division, anger and dissension within certain keto communities that absolutely breaks my heart… at a time when I feel we need to be coming together, standing strong together, more than ever. 💔
As for my work, it’s mostly okay, mostly still a “safe space” – except for Instagram, which is a total s*i*s*o*m this week, and unfortunately something I need to use now and then during the course of my work with clients.
I also get the feeling that some people who follow my @lowcarbtraveler updates there appreciate the “something normal posts” about meal ideas or low carb foods to mix up their meals… but I could be wrong. It’s hard to know right now.
All I do know is that I want to keep doing good work.
Yes, even while we’re in the middle of a global crisis and eyeball-deep in social tension. Yes, even while I sort out right and wrong and “next best steps” and do that work (privately). Yes, even while I’m being called out and put down if I show up at all.
And so my next piece for you will be a simple, delicious and healthy low carb meal idea.
From there I’ll continue sharing recipes and food diaries and meals, and prepare to kick off the next group challenge for those that want to participate.
But for now, I should close this note, because I feel it’s pretty much going nowhere but around in circles, and I’m only getting more emotional instead of doing something productive or useful.
Is it okay if I stick to simple topics for awhile, and send you some great meal ideas and recipes?
What would help you most right now?
A challenge, meal ideas, encouragement, motivation, new snack ideas, glucose/ketone tests on certain products, help getting back on track, easy recipes… name it. I’m here.
p.s. Back to peanut butter cookies, I tried to get people to share their favorite keto cookie recipes with us earlier this week. No luck, but that post did turn into a great discussion about the new Perfect Keto Peanut Butter Cookies if you’re interested in the discussion about them. 💕
Also, if you want to stock up on their keto bars, you can get $50 off 4 boxes 🍫 by using this Multi-Pack deal + adding my discount code LOWCARBTRAVELER at checkout. That’s a GREAT deal! xo
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