When I started the Low Carb Diet last April, I had a strong incentive to lose weight.
Two, actually. I wanted to put the past behind me (which was weighing on me, literally, in the form of pounds), and I wanted to move on with my future.
At the time, that included a big secret: I was planning to get married in the Fall.
We have since canceled the arrangements and ultimately ended the relationship altogether.
To be fair, he never actually proposed to me. It was more a “piss or get off the pot” kind of thing where I finally decided we should just do it and so we started discussing how we would go about it. To the point of choosing a date and making the reservations at a beautiful little spot in Middle TN that specializes in elegant elopements.
That’s enough to inspire most any woman to lose a few pounds. But for me, it was quite the big deal. Because while I’ve been married before (more than 12 years ago)… I’ve never actually had a wedding. Or even so much as tried on a wedding dress. The idea of looking fabulous my one and only time in one was a strong motivation to lose weight. If I was going to wear a wedding dress, ever, I wanted to totally rock it! 😉
I was never that girl with the childhood fantasy of a big white dress and a huge fairytale wedding. In fact, I never expected to consider marriage again. Not that I’m against marriage OR men, just that I didn’t see it in my future, or actively pursue that type of relationship. I have a great life, really enjoy my lifestyle, and hey – if you can’t meet someone cool in 12 years that fits in with what you have… it just may not be in the cards for you. 😛
But there I was. For a few short months anyway.
And if I was going to do it, I wanted to look absolutely stunning doing it.
I tell you all of this, personal as it is, to open up a discussion about our reason WHY when it comes to our weight loss goals. I believe our WHY is directly related to our success with weight loss.
I know for me, ever since things fell apart at the end of last summer, I have been seriously yo-yo’ing on the Low Carb Diet. I even took a deliberate break from it around the end of the year, along with everything else in my life, to regroup a bit. Mostly to get my bearings, and redefine my “WHY” on all of my goals.
I recall going through this same thing after my divorce 12 years ago. And again when my son moved out on his own almost two years ago. Life is constantly changing, and we have to adjust our goals – and our vision of the future – right along with it.
I’ve found over the years, in both my personal life and my business, having a strong reason – a WHY – is what really drives me. Without it, the motivation is just not there. Anytime I come up with something I want to do, I ask myself “why?” and I get that reason firmly in my mind. A vision of the end result is what gets me through the individual days, and sometimes the hours, that it takes to get where I want to be.
I now have a new WHY.
Since my late 20’s I have been looking forward to the decade of my 40’s. I’ve known all along where I want to be, how I want to be and WHO I want to be. And I have worked hard over the last ~10 years to get there.
There are a lot of reasons my 40’s appeal to me. My children will be raised, my business successful, and it will be a time in my life with more freedoms and more new things in life to explore outside of business start-up & single parenting. Like traveling, writing books, great friends (and having time to spend with those friends -lol).
And just like that stupid wedding dress, I want to totally ROCK my 40’s! 😉
I don’t want to be skinny. I want to look awesome. I want to be healthy, in shape, glowing, and have the arms to pull off a gorgeous sleeveless dress. I want to be the best possible version of myself, inside and out.
What Drives YOUR Weight Loss Goals?
I’d be curious to know what motivates you, and whether you have a strong reason or incentive to lose weight and get in shape? Is it a vision that keeps you on track, or are you in a “lack of vision” phase (like I’ve been lately) and struggling to stay on track?
This is a good time for us to reevaluate and consider our reasons. I have to tell you, having you alongside me on this journey has been a BIG motivator, even when my vision was unclear. Thank you for being there along the way. I love sharing the ups & downs, low carb recipes & tips, and I love our candid weight loss discussions!
Hi Lynn
Great to share. I remember when I lost 6 stone I had a certain someone I wanted to impress. I so get the Why piece.
Guess I need to think and be open to my own why.
Thanks for Sharing
Denise
I find myself constantly checking my “why”. Not just on weight loss, but on EVERYthing in my life – business, personal, you name it. It helps me a lot…
What drives my weight loss goals? Just the question makes me emotional. Probably because it sounds so much like the mirror question, ‘What drives your over-eating?’
I’m 45. I’ve been overweight for at least 30 of them. Being the ‘big girl’ is built in to my identity in a huge way. It’s been a weird source of pride to me that I don’t let it hold me back in most situations. I’m not a shrinking violet, I don’t expect people to reject me, etc.
Last year a health issue highlighted what the future of being this heavy could be like. Frankly it scared the living crap out of me. I don’t want to be the fat aunt who needs help with everything and no hope for love, travel or adventure.
The only way to avoid that eventuality is to CHANGE my weight and IMPROVE my strength and health!
I guess I’m saying that future hope is my why.
Geez, Kelly – I would have never guessed you’re 45! You look FABULOUS. π I can totally relate to the identity issue. For me it was about struggling. I used to call myself the “Queen of Adversity” and took pride in how I handled horrific situations life kept throwing at me.
It’s no longer part of my identity, which in all honesty took me a few years to recover from – lol. It’s interesting how our brains work. Speaking of, I’m currently reading Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind – which is helping me in SO many ways. From habits (smoking, overeating) to thought patterns to productivity…
What a great question Lynn and one I haven’t thought a whole lot about.
I though my ‘why’ was to fit into my skinny jeans again but that’s really a superficial kinda thing (which, by the way I DID IT!). I’ve still got about 20-30lbs to go and I’m down 30lbs due in big part to the low-carb diet and I really think your blog. If I hadn’t of been reading here I don’t think I’d have tried it.
So – back to my why: Really I want to be healthy. Like Kelly said I don’t want anyone to have to take care of me. I don’t want to be the old lady with so many health problems because I didn’t take good care of myself. I want to have one (maybe two) more children and I want to be in the best health I can be to give them their best healthy start.
And… honestly if we get back to the skinny jeans thing… I want to look hot π
I saw your skinny jeans pic – you are looking HOT!
Congrats on those skinny jeans! π You looked GREAT in Atlanta!! I’m so glad you joined us, and am really glad to hear that this blog inspired you. It inspires ME to have such a cool group of people to talk to & share with!
And hey, nothing wrong with looking HOT. I’m on that same mission myself. π
Aww you two just make me grin! Guess I need to find a new why, haha.
Just kidding… Being healthy and feeling awesome is a really good goal and it definitely goes with looking great.
Thanks so much Kelly & Lynn, you’re both awesome π
Hi Lynn,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Wow! It made me stop and think about my “why”. I’ve been in the lack of motivation phase and yo-yo dieting on and off. I guess I feel like I have so far to go. I want to lose a good bit of weight and sometimes it seems I won’t make it and it’ll take forever.
I want to lose weight for health and confidence reasons. I don’t want to be sickly, taking pills to avoid or survive major illnesses and live without pain. I also don’t want to have to sit on the sidelines while everyone else is having fun. I also want to be a good looking healthy 40 something years old woman. I am larger than my husband and I don’t feel good about that fact. I want to feel attractive and look attractive to myself when I look in the mirror or see my reflection when passing a window.
I think I’m refocused now. Thank you so much!
Focus is good π
You said you don’t want to sit on the sidelines while everyone else is having fun. Are there specific activities you would like to do, that you can’t (or won’t) now? Maybe getting a couple in mind will be good motivation for you. I know that works for me! I have to get “the vision”…
p.s. NOT wanting to be where I am, is never as motivating as WANTING to be somewhere specific.
HI Lynn Ihave been fat since I was five years old, I am now 55 yrs old, I just want to look good once in my life. Ive joined a gym. I sometimes think why now? IM too old to care now. but the truth is I do care.
And you should! π
Rock those 50’s, Debbie! You’ll be the envy of all your friends. π
Hi Lynn! I’ve subscribed to your blog for months now, never having commented, but today something struck me:
“I donβt want to be skinny. I want to look awesome. I want to be healthy, in shape, glowing, and have the arms to pull off a gorgeous sleeveless dress. I want to be the best possible version of myself, inside and out.”
If words could leap from a page, these certainly would. I couldn’t help but nod my head. Over and over again. I couldn’t have said it better. I’ve been on my low-carb, high protein, mostly sugar-free routine for the past 4 months and have lost, so far, 63 pounds. I sometimes struggle not with food, but with the motivation to work out. I actually find the commitment to eating better to be the easiest part. Working out, however, can be a bit of an uphill battle some weeks. And it’s funny, because after I work out, I feel amazing. I walk with bit of swagger. I feel strong, healthy, accomplished, and sexy. Who doesn’t want to feel like that?! I try to remember that feeling every time I finish a great workout. It helps me with my “Why?” on days I just want to stay on the couch.
I enjoy your blog so much and share your desire to not be skinny, but to just look and feel awesome. I feel I’m getting to the best version of me and love the reminders I get from reading your blog to be good to myself. To honor myself. To honor my body. I’m 24. Too young to sit back as my health deteriorates. Taking control of my weight and my life has been the best thing for me. I make no excuses and try to live by The Biggest Loser’s Dolvett Quince’s words of “HARD WORK! DEDICATION!” Hokey? Yes. But has it made all the difference? Absolutely.
Keep writing. You keep me going.
Sarah
Thank you Sarah π And congrats on losing 63 pounds!! Like you, I find eating low carb to be the easy part. I also want to work out more regularly (like daily, ideally!) and really get in good shape.
I’ll be 39 in June. I wish like crazy I had started at your age!! Put that one in your hat… if you *don’t* start now, you’ll be 38 one day like me… and wish you had. I know I do. And regrets suck. π
First of all Lynn, I think your absolutely beautiful and if we were passing on the side walk you would turn my head. You asked βwhat drivesβ my weights loss? About 10 year ago when a friend of mine passed away all of sudden that woke me up. I made huge drastic changes in my life. For 3 years I ate and drank pure. No processed foods or drinks. I lost a lot of weight and never felt better in my life. However, I fell in love and the βpureβ lifestyle was hard to maintain. Needless to say I slowly gained weight back.
Several years later the relationship ended and I went back to my βpureβ lifestyle but this time included a regiment of riding my bike 14 to 50 miles a day (way to deal with the emotions of the breakup). I lost the weight so quickly it was ridiculous and continued this way for a few years until I got distracted. This way of living was fine when I was self-employed and could carve out the time in the day.
So five years ago I walked away from my own business and went to work for a large corporation. It was great! I made a whole lot more money and I actually love what I do for a living. However, I stopped riding the bike and slowly over the last 5 years I have gained 50 pounds. That pissed me off! I promised myself I would never let that happen.
Well here I am again (3rd time) trying to lose the 50 pounds plus some. However, this time I doing things a little bit different. I came to a realization that I want to βlive long and die fast.β I believe in order to do this I needed to make life changes. First of all my goal is to lose the 50 pounds plus maybe another 30 or so. I enjoy the low carb lifestyle and I need to make it a βpermanentβ lifestyle. In addition to living a low carb lifestyle, I have also incorporated a mandatory 30 minutes a day of βmy timeβ where I use that time to either ride my bike or some other type exercise. I feel if I cannot give myself at least 30 minutes to do this for myself, then there is something seriously wrong with how I manage my time. Last night, got home last and contemplated skipping my bike ride, but I thought to myselfβ¦ It is only 30 minutes and I know I will feel great afterwards. I was right!
Anyhow, I hope to live a long life since there is so much that I want to do and see. I know in order to do that I need to treat my body and soul right. This time around I am not going βpureβ, but pretty damn close. I also know I will not lose the weight as fast as before and I am Okay with that. I hope to have reached my goal weight by the end of the year (slow and easy). This time is going to be a lifelong lifestyle change. I hope when or if I meet my next love in my life that this will also be a conducive lifestyle for her as well.
Sorry for such a long post.
-Les
Thank you Les π
Love can sure throw us for a loop. I know that one well. I hope you meet the right mate, one that fits into your lifestyle and shares your goals and ideals for health and happiness. π
Question: When you took the job and stopped riding (when you gained the weight back), did you also stop eating healthy? Just curious if it was lack of exercise alone.
And this is a lifestyle change for me too. I totally get that.
Lynn, it was so easy over time to revert back to a part time βnormalβ diet. Maybe have pizza on Friday nights, French fries on the go for lunch, maybe a milkshake for dessert, a good beer or two or three. Oh, the thought that I could incorporate low carb bread back into my diet. Well over time this all added up to a larger waist. I thought I was being good (Okay, I knew in the back of my mind I wasnβt). I know people who say they can cheat on the weekends with no problems. I now know I am not one of those lucky guys who can just eat whatever I want or even part time. I know now that the low carb life style is what I need to feel and look good.
Have a great day Lynn and keep up the great conversation!
Great point. I used to be one of those people that could eat anything – but that all changed in my 30’s. It’s amazing to me that I never really had weight on me prior to that, considering how & what I ate. LOL.
Here’s to a healthy lifestyle choice! π *cheers*
Great to hear everyone’s stories and thanks for highlighting the why question Lynn. Working as a weight loss coach, I often encourage people to ask the ‘why ‘ question. It’s not enough of a motivating factor to just want to lose 10 pounds. We all want to do that! But being able to run around with your kids or get off medication is a much better motivating factor.
When I lost weight my why was βto be kind to myself and treat myself well so I could find happinessβ. I had spent too many years beating myself up about weight. Losing the weight made me feel better and the process of taking care of myself made me grow the self love, and find my inner happiness. Everytime I’d feel like cheating I would just say no because I could never go back to feeling bad again.
The why is our biggest motivating factor!
It really is π
Feeling bad about yourself, or about your habits, is no fun. I went through a major phase of that. Especially when I got my heart broken into a million pieces a few years ago (from your country no less, lol) and found myself in a state of emotional overeating.
I was miserable after every meal. The “food coma” I called it. It made me physically sick, and sick with myself for doing it. It’s as bad as drinking really – as a habit – and would put me straight to bed (no matter what time of day lol). Ugh.
I don’t EVER want to go back to that place. There’s nothing like feeling amazing and being HAPPY with yourself.
I have been trying to lose weight for the last few years but could never stay motivated for long. This year has been different. I will be hitting 50 next month and want to be fit and healthy. Plus that age is when my mom passed away so it really motivates me to get healthy to live a longer live.
I have been cutting down on the carbs for sure and just found your blog. The info here is very helpful and I will be using it to lose more pounds. So far down 12 lbs!
Congrats on losing 12 pounds, Sue! Way to go π
Thanks Lynn!
I thought I was doing really well cutting down on carbs until I read through your getting started page. My oatmeal with applesauce is still full of carbs even though it is healthy.
This week I am focusing on adding more protein and trying to keep under the 20g of carbs. When I read through labels I was really surprised by the carbs and the sugar levels. But I did manage to find a salad dressing with zero carbs and sugar.
Looking forward to hopefully dropping quite a few pounds in March, would love to make it 20 or 25lbs lost in total by then!.
It really is shocking when you start scanning labels. I had the same experience! Just keep in mind that it’s not about traditional “healthy foods”, calories, or fat. It’s ONLY about net carb count. That makes it easy. π